What makes a good supervisor? I have asked this question hundreds of times. The consistent answers when someone says they have a good leader are, “They are approachable,” “They are willing to work side by side with me,” and, “They don’t ask people to do things they do not do themselves.”
This column is on approachability. My experience is the higher a person is on the organizational chart, the less approachable others assume they are. People are reluctant to ask questions, give suggestions, and share concerns when they perceive the person is in a powerful position.
In our book, The Human Margin: Building the Foundations of Trust, Dr. Katherine Meese and I wrote that based on research, trust in senior executives is low today. One reason is that there was less leader visibility during COVID-19. Plus, leaders are packed with meetings, and due to more staff and leader turnover, they may not be as well-known as in years past.
A few tips on how to be more approachable:
Be visible. Walk around, spend informal time with staff, sit with people, make eye contact, and say their names. It seems easy, but it is not. If it were easy, it would take place more often.
Listen and hold the need to fix it. Top leaders are used to fixing things. I am guilty of responding too often and too quickly. Let the person finish, then count to three before speaking. Two follow-up responses are: Tell me more. Help me understand. Help people feel safe.
Be measured and calm with bad news. If people are punished or shut down when they bring problems, approachability is lost. When a leader says, “Why didn’t anyone tell me?” it is because of the fear of being responded to in a negative way. For years, my message was, “If you bring a problem, bring a solution.” I was wrong about this. It meant that unless people had a solution, they were quiet. My mistake. We need people to bring problems even without solutions, so we need to stay calm.
Be open about mistakes. Do not just say things like, “I have made mistakes.” People assume you are just saying that. Share real-life examples.
Ask for advice. Ask questions that show you want people’s input. Use the word advice, not feedback. It is safer. What advice do you have? What concerns do you have? What am I missing? Also, be okay with saying, “I do not know.”
Follow through. Building trust is following through. Do not leave people hanging. If more information is needed, let them know when you will get back to them. People stop asking questions and providing ideas or concerns if they feel ignored.
I will close with vulnerability. It is powerful. Think of a time when you heard a presenter who seemed to have it all together. Now, think of a time when you heard a presenter who shared mistakes they have made and challenges they have faced. They let you see their insides. Whom are you most likely to approach?
It is okay to show the cracks in your facade. They are where the light gets in, the doors open, and people walk through.
