It is a cliché to say that obstacles create opportunities. Why? Some of the opportunities are ones we deeply wish had not come about.
One of the themes of a recent commencement talk at UW-Whitewater Rock County Campus was obstacles and opportunities. It was an honor to have my friend Barry there.
Barry was diagnosed with ALS. He and his family and friends were and are sad and devastated. There are times Barry is, of course, overwhelmed with what is taking place. Yet his focus now is on raising funding for ALS. He comments that while ALS will not be cured in his lifetime, he is determined to help others. The ALS obstacle is creating for Barry the opportunity to educate others and raise funds.
There are obstacles that, while not comfortable, help a person in a multitude of ways. I have always had a speech impediment. In school, a speech pathologist (bless them) would get me out of class to work with me. I was asked to repeat sounds that were hard for me to make. It was challenging. The speech pathologist was compassionate and very helpful. I learned to say things that at one time I had not been able to. I was taught tools to use when I could not find a word. I learned to work through failure. I learned the value of repetition and the impact of positive reinforcement demonstrated by the pathologist.
My hearing has always been poor. To compensate, I learned to sit in the front of a room, to share with people my hearing impairment, to use hearing devices, and so on. I need to stay very focused on who is speaking. Being hearing impaired helps me to be a better listener.
There are also obstacles that have helped me to be more helpful to others. When I was 31, I crashed and sought help for alcoholism. Being in recovery provides me with a design for living. In recovery, I learned the importance of helping others as I have been helped…another opportunity.
Four years ago, I was diagnosed with melanoma. I shared the situation with family and close friends. One of these friends was Fawn Lopez. She introduced me to Marcia Horn of ICAN, a cancer navigation service. I have been helped by ICAN and have connected many people with Marcia and her team. I have gotten very close to a number of great cancer centers. These relationships provide the opportunity to be helpful. Again, an obstacle provides an opportunity.
Some obstacles suck. My friend Barry is showing that even those provide opportunities. Other obstacles provide learnings that lead to helping ourselves and others. How we handle an obstacle matters more than what the obstacle is.
Life is not always easy, yet each day is a gift. Unwrap it. Enjoy the present by being present. And when you find an obstacle, look for what you can learn, how you can grow, and whom you can help.
